My sister, Suzette Inell Williams passed away today, at 11:50am, from cancer. She was only 37. I last saw her on Friday, and I knew it would be the last time I would see her. She was asleep at home, I went to her, sat with her and watched a movie. Told her about my day and what my weekend will be like, and that I had to go out of town for two days for a business trip. She was asleep and I had hoped she heard me. I kissed her several times, held her, held her hand, whispered in her ear not good-bye, but 'I'll see you later Suzette, I love you very, very much'. Kissed her again, and just looked at her as she slept.

I drove back home crying hard all the way. It's dangerous driving 65mph crying almost hysterically. Around noon today while in Green Bay, Wisconsin, I knew *something* happened and I couldn't shake it. I woke up this morning in my hotel room, a Christian hotel as I was at St. Norbert's University for a seminar, and there was a large wooden cross on the wall. I stood by it this morning and prayed to it. I prayed to my father in heaven to wish him a happy birthday, and to take care of Suzy.

The flight back home was miserable, I was so anxious and scared about what I would learn when I landed. I called my brother when I got to my car, and he told me that 'Suzy passed earlier today'. I cried so hard I couldn't breathe. Then I drove to Suzy's home and my mother told me how she passed today. She was holding her as she was taking her final breaths. My mother told Suzy to 'Go in peace, be with God, go in peace'. Moments later, Suzy passed over.

It was cloudy in Detroit today, but as my mother sat with Suzy in her room, looking at her in death, the sun shined through the window and specifically lit up Suzy's face. My mother said it was beautiful and she now knows that Suzy is at peace and free.

Thank you all for your prayers and thoughts for Suzy. I love her very much and I will miss her earthly presence, but I know she will always be with me.

...

Suzette Inell Williams
May 23, 1971 - July 15, 2008

I love you Suzy!

Remember back in the day when I used to make up to 5 posts a day here on my LJ? Well those days are long gone as it seems these days I live a totally different life. I'm pulling in 60 hour work weeks and although it's tiring, I'm pacing myself and the money is going to good use, like BILLS. But I'm not out of the woods yet, not by a long shot, but, I'm hanging in there.

The past five days have been emotionally draining as my sister Suzy is in the hospital again, since Wednesday - because of her cancer. I can't go into details right now, but I'm not weeping as much. I went to see her in the hospital yesterday before her surgery (today) and she's trying to be strong and positive, but the pain she's been in hurts and I just want to scream and suck the cancer out of her and let her be happy and healthy. The surgery she had today alleviated the pain and a new round of chemo and radiation will start on Tuesday, then she'll be released to go home. Doctor's orders are for her to not work for the next 6 months as this stage of cancer fighting needs to be more aggressive. We're optimistic, but there are times when I just cry. I truly do wish I could trade places with her. when you're constantly thinking about the health and welfare of a loved one, everything else just doesn't matter.

The family has redone her bedroom for her, went to Art Van and plopped down $1400 in new bedroom furniture, painted her room, and got her a new 37" LCD tv screen - her bedroom got pimped out big time and when she comes home, she'll be shocked! My mother totally needs to call MTV with a show idea called 'Pimp my Bedroom'!

Not working, totally focused on chemo/radiation treatment, watching her bootleg DVDs, and laughing a lot, is what she needs to do to get better. Please send your prayers or positive thoughts to my sister Suzette's way? Thanks. xoxo

Today is Hash Bash day in Ann Arbor, and for the first time in a very long time, the weather cooperated with us and it's nearly 60 degrees and absolutely sunny! And because of the pleasant weather, the crowds were 10x larger. Also, I had Laurie and her son Kyle tag along and they really enjoyed it.

Lot's a people smoking weed, discreetly, in public and I saw no one getting arrested. Smelled a lot of weed and passed through many smoky clouds, but no contact buzz.

I need to make sure I specifically request select Saturday's off just so that I can enjoy a free day to do whatever the hell I need to do.

I'll watch the 'No Country for Old Men' and 'Walmart: The High Cost of Low Price' DVDs for the rest of the day.

This past week saw me in the blues because I couldn't think about attending any East coast Pearl Jam shows, and the weeks before that, I couldn't think about attending any West coast Eddie Vedder shows. But now, NIN has announced a 2008 summer too and they are coming to Detroit Rock City on Saturday, August 23rd! I'm so going to go for mosh pit tickets and get my ass kicked again!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now more than ever, I'm glad that I trusted my gut instinct and purchased my single ticket to the Dalai Lama's visit to Ann Arbor during the weekend of April 19-20th. He will be having in 3 separate presentations, dialouges about Buddhist principles, politics, compassion, etc. And in light of the uprisings in Tibet in the past week with approx over a 100 people dead, and with the Dalai Lama threatening to quit being the leader of the Tibetan government if the violence doesn't end, he's appearance next month is really anticipated.

I was trying to hold out and wait and see if Laurie's husband would be able to get tickets to see the DL as he works at an Asian Studies advocacy U of M group. Also, I tried in vain to see if people at the ZBT, of all places, would have their act together and be able to get tickets. So when I heard nothing back from those fronts, I decided to F it and get my own nosebleed $20 ticket at the end of January. Now, all tickets are sold out, even the front row $1,000 tickets (but mind, 8,000 tickets were given FREE to current U of M students and faculty and those tickets were all taken up on the day those were released). So now Laurie and Jon can't go, and not many people at the ZBT are going either due to poor group planning. But I'm going... I just need to get a hold of some binoculars.

Here is an interesting Op-Ed from the NY Times about the Dalai Lama He May be a God, but he's no Politician. It's interesting and gives a historical perspective of the Dalai Lama's exile to India in 1959.

Also, I found out today that Pearl Jam will be having a 10-day mini East Coast tour in June. I would love to go, but the fan club tickets go on sale on Monday, AND, I really just can't afford not only the tickets, but the expense of flying to the EC would be cost prohibitive during this sticky employment situation I'm currently still in, which will hopefully have changed by then, but still, I can't afford such luxuries right now. If they decide on a mid-west tour, I'll find out a way to go.

Well, I gotta work at Macy's today, but I have tomorrow off which is one of only two days the store is closed during the year. I will go to the ZBT for a special Buddhist memorial ceremony, and then drive to Detroit for Easter dinner with the family.

I think the coast is almost clear in regards to winter. I swear to God I have had enough snow for 3 winters, and it was bitterly cold too. I'm thankful that my car did not konk out like so many cars did on my drive into work the past couple of months. I always smirked when I saw SUVs and newer model cars on the side of the road, or in a ditch due to mechanical problems or poor driving. Yes, I made it through another winter.

And a strong sign that spring is near is my sinus and allergies have been just completely jacked up. I look like I have been smoking a doobie with my eyes so red and often swollen. But I have my eye drops and OTC allergy medicine with me. Guess I just have to take it more often than I thought.

Still getting positive feedback from my temp job; they do want to hire me, it's just a matter of when they will do it. It's not my dream job, but it's a great company and the people are good and SANE, that's key.

I am coming along fine at Macy's, I just leave exhausted sometimes because of all the running around I do. I found $5 in the aisle near the hoisery department. Brought a smile to my face - I don't know if that's sad or cute. LOL! The thought that a $5 bill brought such joy. *sigh*

I work all this weekend, but it's cool, it's afternoon shifts, so that allows me to sleep in a bit. I'll be able to go the ZBT on Sunday, for the second week in a row. I have been scheduled to work at Macy's to open the store on Sunday, preventing me from attending. And low and behold, *gasp* the store WILL be closed on Easter Sunday, so I will drive to see my family that day and have a nice Easter meal (after they return from the fashion show at church that morning).

Hope ya'll are well!

L8r,

Posting this out of principle which was created by angry_biscuit.

There was a window of opportunity today where I had the day off from both my jobs, AND the latest snow storm isn't expected until after 6pm this evening. So I was finally able to drive all the hell the way over to the East side to BFF Donna's house to use her tax software program to file my 2007 taxes. Thankfully, I get some money back. It ain't a lot, but it's something.

It was also very good to see Donna and her family again as I haven't seen her ass since last July or August, and that's too damn long to go without seeing your bestest friend. They're going through some difficult times, as Roland got laid-off a month ago. But he'll find something soon enough; it's just a blow to them and they're getting freaked out if he doesn't find a new job in a few weeks.

I really need to clean up my apartment but I'm so not motivated. Just exhausted from the drive to Donna's and a pit stop at my sister's to see everyone else. Other than that, I'm ok, just hanging in there.

Off to take a hot shower, fix dinner and watch Ocean's 13.

---
Dear God, please let Hillary Rodham Clinton win Texas and Ohio tonight.
Amen.

I returned the previously rented movie, the unfunny Shrek The Third on Saturday so that the next movie I get would be '30 Days of Night' which came out on DVD on Tuesday. So it was perfect timing that I returned the movie and they sent me an email on Monday saying they got the Shrek movie and that they will mail to me, to RECEIVE on the 26th, '30 days'.

It came and I watched that movie last night and it was brilliantly bloody! I just enjoyed the hell out of it. If you like vampire movies but with an Artic twist to it, then check this movie out. Here's a clip from Youtube:

Poll #1144354 Who you calling a bitch?
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

If a customer at your job called you a bitch, what would you do?

Please answer the poll before you read my story. Thanks!

At Macy's on Sunday, a very demanding, rude, snobby, ignorant woman came into my department carrying at least a dozen women's suits in her arms to go and try on in the Fitting Rooms that I was in the process of cleaning out all by myself. Breathlessly, as I was finishing up, I myself was carrying a load of clothes that female pig customers just tossed on the floor. This woman came into the fitting room corridor just as I was about to exit. Upon seeing her and her load of clothes, I backed up to allow her in, and I simply pointed with an open hand to a just cleaned out fitting room for her to use. I thought my gesture of an open hand guiding her into an empty room was providing good customer service.

Nope, not with this ho.

( Read more... )

Remember last summer how I was so excited to see The Police on tour? Well, I get to see them again. They are doing a final summer tour this year and will come to Detroit on July 12, a Saturday! Since I barely have two pennies to rub together, Laurie bought my ticket along with her husband and another friend, so we're all set. It's costing $60, and I really can't justify spending that kind of money at the moment, but you know what, I work so goddamn hard, I have been so stressed out and feeling deprived of the most basic of things. But I can sacrifice $60 this one time to see a most favorite band for one last time. I never thought I would have this opportunity, so I didn't want to pass it up. So I'll pay her back on Thursday when I get paid. I'm pretty excited about this.

Yesterday at macy's, there was a big One Day sale and I worked my ass off in my department cleaning up the fitting rooms and ringing up sales. Although I am enjoying being out on the sales floor in oppose to the slave labour work of being on the dock opening boxes of the new merchandise, there are two things that annoy me about the customer interaction that I now have.

1. cheap ass dumb ass people
2. nasty ass lazy ass people


How much of a 'I only shop on sales days' or walmart of attitude is a customer when they constantly come up to the register area and ask/demand you to scan something to see if MORE of a discount comes off before they seriously consider buying it? I cannot believe how cheap people are! You seen a nice Jones New York blouse that is marked down to $35 and you still want to see how much more it will be off? If it's not 50% they won't buy it as 25% is still not good enough. I sounded like a broken record to people when they come up to the register asking for a price check and I tell them that there is a price checker scan right behind them. People are also dumb and blind, and cheap. And mind, this is Macy's, not Wal-mart!

Why do women have to take in a dozen pieces of clothing into the fitting room, with no intentions of buying any of it, and just leave all the shit on the floor, crumpled up as if it was their personal clothing in their own bedroom. Really nice stuff just being tossed aside as if the customer was angry that the size was too small, or the color did not flatter her. Many customers do at least place the clothes back on the hanger, but do the bitches take the stuff back to where they found it? Hell no! Also, some women have a very strong body odor and it's so strong that it lingers in some of the fitting rooms, and on the clothes. *sigh*

so my job is being a wallet babysitter at the register for cheap ass people, and being the maid in the fitting room for nasty people.

I work again today, I hope the day goes by very fast.

I went to the gym this afternoon and since I'm a creature of habit, I usually like to go down the same aisle in the lockeroom and use the lockers in that section. Today, I go down that aisle and I saw a very pasty, very... um... SOFT/flabby old/ancient woman fully nude.

No.

Sorry, I'm just funny that way. I know there are nude women in the female lockeroom, but if you can avoid being right next to a flabby ancient pasty woman in full display in front of you, you'll do it. Just go the next aisle. Ok, so I go and it's cool. then one lady came to my section and was 3 lockers away. Then not 30 seconds later, another woman came and she was the locker right fucking next to me. She actually had to wait until I moved my shit so she could open the locker, then a third bitch came. I couldn't take it. Too fucking crowded with loud stranger bitches next to me. It's bad enough we have to change in/out of our clothes in front of each other, but do I need to have someone so fucking close to me that we're touching? Hell no!

So I grab all my shit in a huff and go to another section where I could breath and not have talkative partially clothed stranger females all up in my face.

I shoved my shit in the locker, locked it and walked away in a huff, and went to run a mile and do my weight training. I had a great hour work out. I then mosey back to the lockerroom, adn what do I find?

My stupid impatient bratty hasty ass forgot to put into the locker, my shoes and my little purse which looks like a chinese print makeup bag. But inside the makeup bag was my life. Wallet, credit cards, diamond ring, watch, car keys, cell phone, and key pass to work.

My fucking life. And it was laying there with my shoes, untouched for an hour. But Lord knows how many people passed by it. I'm always walking past purses and wallets in full display, but I'm always paranoid about my shit getting stolen. A guardian angel was looking out for me today as I curse myself for leaving all my valuable shit on the bench far away from the safety of my locked locker.

stupid ass.

Don't be hasty!

Afer this presidental election, I'm going to change my party from Democrat to Independent. I am outrage in how the primaries have been handled, and I hate the division within the party that support for either of the two candidates have developed.

I learned this morning that the Michigan primary of 4 weeks ago may become irrelevant if Hillary does not WIN Texas and Ohio because political strategists here in Michigan say that in the event that Hillary does not win those states, she will be so far behind Obama that a fight for the Michigan and Florida delegates will be irrelevant.

I cannot emphasize how much this will piss me off! See, in order for Michigan's voice to be heard early in the primaries, Michigan democrates went against the DNC's demands and pushed up our primary dates to early January. As punishment, the DNC will not give us our 156 delegates which pretty much neutered us. However, Hillary did win Michigan, but Obama/Edwards/Kucinich were as uncommitted as their names were not on the ballot, but Hillary's was. The same punishment goes to Florida also, which Hillary won too.

I've been reading articles at USA Today and MSNBC that allow reader comments in their Obama/Clinton articles and people all over the country are extremely pissed off and concerned about the media slant and dissing against Hillary, and the apparent favortism and kid glove treatment of Obama. I'm also sadden to see such extreme racist and sexist attitudes expressed in those opinions. There are obviously compassionate supporters on both side of the Obama/Clinton race, but overall, the sentiment is that a lot of current pro-Hillary supporters will either simply not vote in November (raises hand), or vote for McCain (something I just cannot do - even though I don't dislike him). And only a few will turn their support over to Obama, which I totally understand. As a black female, I don't know which harsh attitude is worse: the racism or the sexism. But I can admit that the sexism along with the awful media bias against Hillary has startled me. It's also very pitiful to see how when it comes to sexism, to see so many women not be supportive of Hillary. I think that stings the most as I and most like she, predicted that women would pour out of the flood gates to vote for her. So ladies, if you didn't support Hillary, and if McCain wins, which he will if Obama wins the Democratic nomination, if women rights and reproductive rights are rewinded by 50 years, you only have yourselves to blame.

So, in summation, Michigan doesn't fucking matter if Hillary doesn't flat out win Texas and Ohio.

I was driving on borrowed time in getting my brakes done on my car. Thankfully my mother came into a surprise shitload of money. Well, it's a shitload to us, but it's a portion of her pension that she got earlier this week. Due to my fragile employment situation, she gave me money to get my brakes done at Midas across the street. I knew the brakes were bad, but after they called me to give me the lowdown on what they needed to do, the total came up to $711. I need brake pads, rotor, tire rod, two new front tires and a wheel alignment. I called my mother to borrow another $300, and I gave him the ok to do the job.

I really feel relieved that this is getting done as I was driving my car like this for far too long and I've heard front end noises that are not cool to listen to. Now I can drive to Detroit this weekend to see the people - I haven't seen them since Christmas Day.

I worked two 12-hour shifts in the past two days, I'm tired. Macy's is coming along fine. If anything, it's tiring walking around so much, but I'm just glad to be working. I don't think that media analyst job is going to pan out for me, and I'm not too disappointed about it. I'm at a stage in my life where I just believe in if it's meant to be, it will be. You can't force things. You can show perserverance and initiative, but if it's a one way street, then that's the way it is.

So I have today off, waiting for my car to get operated on. After I pick it up, I'll go to the gym.

It's like 2 degrees outside and I thought for a second that it would be ok to go to the gym, but, I changed my mind. Hell no.

Working at Macy's on the sales floor isn't bad at all. It's kind of a trip because so many people are conditioned to buy shit that's on sale, and stuff that receive an additional percentage off that they come up to the counter and immediately ask 'Do I get more of a discount off of this?' People have no couth. Some are polite and some are just tacky. If an Ann Klein jacket originally priced at $420 is now discounted to $65... really, do you really expect and want even more of a discount? Come on now? Fuck. You can't get shit for free!

And don't get me started on the fitting rooms. Why are most women pigs? Why do they leave shit on the floor and turned inside out, with their makeup and deodorant stains on clothes they don't intend to purchase? It's ridiculous! But again, it's really not a bad job. I'm on my feet, running around, staying busy and active. It's cool. It's not a career, but it's much needed extra dinero at this time.

I waiting for a call about the media analyst position I interviewed for last week, so hopefully that will turn out cool. I'm optimistic that things will fall into place soon enough, it's just crazy on your nerves when things don't happen as quickly as you want them to. But believe you me, I'm much better off than I was two months ago this date.

I just don't get Superbowl Sunday. I don't care about the fancy expensive stupid commercials (Memo: they are still commercials folks!). People go all out to celebrate this game and I just don't get, and never have gotten this fascination with the sports culture. But then, the same people can say they don't understand why I like to read gossip and follow a few celebrities. *shrugs*

Hey, I finished reading in one day, Cormac McCarthy's 'The Road'. If you like postapocalyptic stories, this is the one to read. It's so well written, you actually feel like you're in the book too. It's going to be made into a movie this year, and I wanted to read it before I see it in the theater. And I still have to read 'The Last Man on Earth' which has been made into several movies, most notably and recently, 'I Am Legend', and the 70's 'Omega Man'. Saw both movies, like them a lot, but I know the book is more in depth.

Well I'll be off to the ZBT this morning, and then I work my first 4 hour shift today at Macy's on the sales floor. It should be nice and quiet as people are preparing for the stupid superbowl. I work from 2:30 to 6:30. That's perfect. I could do this every Sunday! Afterwards I'll come back home, give myself a facial and pedicure, and watch some DVDS.

But, in any event, once a New Yorker, you're always a New Yorker so...



GO GIANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-)

Well another week comes to a close but it was progressive. I had an interview on Monday but the waiting game is still in effect. I hate this part. I'm listening out for my headhunter to give me news: yea or nay? On the one hand, if you don't hear 'nay' quickly, that's good, but still I haven't heard 'yea' yet, so I'm in a quandry. They say, 'No news is good news'. But some kind of news, any, would be better than just nothing, especially four days later. I dunno. I'm just anxious.

Meanwhile, my Plan C in regards to Macys was implemented this week. As you may recall, my last day at Macy's was at the end of August. As far as I was concerned, after 5 years, I had enough; same department, same slave work, same crap. But I paid off my car and that's why I took on that job. But in the back on my mind, I knew that if after I quit the hellhole, and it took me a bit longer to secure another job, I would have to consider Macy's again. Well, luckily I left with a great employment record so I was re-hirable. Still had to go through the new application process, but I did that. I was in training for 7 hours (paid) yesterday to work on the register. And even better, I was still inside the re-hire window to qualify for my previous hourly pay that I worked 5 years to get up to. Praise Da Lord! Had I not been rehired at my previous rate, I would have lost a whole $1.14/hr, and that's too much damn money to lose on an hourly basis. Thank God for perfect timing and miracles - I needed a break like this, hope it's a good omen overall.

So now I have been re-hired as a salesperson in the Better Sportswear department (think Nine West and Michael Kors, etc), and that's great because I also qualify for more hours, anywhere between 14-26; much better than the 8 hours a week I did in my previous department. Mo money! My plans are to work there, mostly on the weekends so that I can hustle and get really caught up with bills, especially a nasty hospital bill that the insurance did not cover. And when I get a new day job, I will keep the macy's job at least through the Fall because if I can get behind the eight ball, I think I may be in the position to treat myself to another trip across the pond in November (Dyana, are you still around, are you reading this?). Yes, I'm dreaming, but dreams can come true as I proved last Aug/Sept.

It's snowing right now, we are getting about 4-5 inches today. I'm going to head out around noon to go to the gym. I'm listening out for a few calls today, as usual, keep the mobile close by. Something will turn up.

I got notice from the library that Cormac McCarthy's 'The Road' is on reserve for me to pick up. Can't wait to read it. Yeah, I'll stop by the library first, pick that bad boy up and read it at the gym. :-)

L8r,
 

It was good to work 4 days this week at a nice job on a temp basis. It got me back in the groove of working and I did really well, got praise and recognition. I go back on Monday and Tuesday. But during lunchtime on Monday, I have an interview with a temp-to-hire job that my headhunter set me up with. *Crosses fingers* It sounds like a great job and a great company to work for. I feel good about it.

On Wednesday, I donated blood through the Red Cross blood drive and it was the first time I was able to do it since 2000! Since my surgery, I have been much healthier and I'm not anemic any more. Yeah! I am a total supporter of the Red Cross and I will be committed to donate as often as I can. :-)

Today, I'm going up to Macy's to use my Xmas gift card at the Origins counter. I need some eye cream. Then I'll go to the gym and chill for the rest of the day.

I went to the 'Waiting for Toothy' blog yesterday and they have it dedicated to Heath Ledger since he was Jake Gyllenhaal's co-star in Brokeback Mountain. Reading the comments, many of those "fans" are actually pissed off with Jake because how dare he hasn't made a public comment about Heath's death! Many of those people just disgust me.

Damn, damn that rude Jake! Too bad that kid is soooo distraught that his film set has closed down in New Mexico because he's unable to work due to his friend's death. How audacious for the production company to hire extra security to protect Jake from paparazzi who have a hard on to get the 'money shot' of Jake in distress. And Jake better get his shit together soon so that some of his half-assed fans can relish in his agonizing words about the shock and pain he is experiencing from his dear friend's death, the guy who made him godfather of Matilda.

((sarcasm ended))

I can't imagine the pain that Jake is going through right now, he has to be beyond devastated and I wish him well. I recall that when Chris Farley died over 10 years ago, that his bestest friend, David Spade, had a breakdown so bad that he refused to believe Chris was dead and he didn't go to Chris' funeral, nor did he offer a public statement. David was only able to talk about it many years later in an interview. As of today, he has weekly dinners with Chris' brother. I imagine that Jake will be this way with Michelle/Matilda.

Silence speaks volumes people. Sometimes it's just obvious how someone feels and there are no words strong enough to really express how one is feeling. And that is where Jake Gyllenhaal is at now.

Star Jones wrote a great article about how the media reacts to a top celebrity's death. She's spot on in how savage and insensitive the entire media is in trying to report about someone's death. Read Star's article here.

I know which magazine I'm going to buy. I hate it when People want to pay respect to a deceased celebrity by also including stupid ass images of worthless celebrities on the same cover. Who gives a fuck about this miley cyrus brat, and transexual baby daddy eddie murphy. Heath Ledger died and deserves the entire cover to himself.

                    

Also, I wonder how tabloidish the cover story will be since the investigation into his death is still unknown. But based on what I saw on NBC Nightly news, it's most likely an accidental death due to a combination of prescription drugs: ambien, anti-depressant AND anti-anxiety. Poor guy.