blue buddha

Rest in Peace little sister

My sister, Suzette Inell Williams passed away today, at 11:50am, from cancer. She was only 37. I last saw her on Friday, and I knew it would be the last time I would see her. She was asleep at home, I went to her, sat with her and watched a movie. Told her about my day and what my weekend will be like, and that I had to go out of town for two days for a business trip. She was asleep and I had hoped she heard me. I kissed her several times, held her, held her hand, whispered in her ear not good-bye, but 'I'll see you later Suzette, I love you very, very much'. Kissed her again, and just looked at her as she slept.

I drove back home crying hard all the way. It's dangerous driving 65mph crying almost hysterically. Around noon today while in Green Bay, Wisconsin, I knew *something* happened and I couldn't shake it. I woke up this morning in my hotel room, a Christian hotel as I was at St. Norbert's University for a seminar, and there was a large wooden cross on the wall. I stood by it this morning and prayed to it. I prayed to my father in heaven to wish him a happy birthday, and to take care of Suzy.

The flight back home was miserable, I was so anxious and scared about what I would learn when I landed. I called my brother when I got to my car, and he told me that 'Suzy passed earlier today'. I cried so hard I couldn't breathe. Then I drove to Suzy's home and my mother told me how she passed today. She was holding her as she was taking her final breaths. My mother told Suzy to 'Go in peace, be with God, go in peace'. Moments later, Suzy passed over.

It was cloudy in Detroit today, but as my mother sat with Suzy in her room, looking at her in death, the sun shined through the window and specifically lit up Suzy's face. My mother said it was beautiful and she now knows that Suzy is at peace and free.

Thank you all for your prayers and thoughts for Suzy. I love her very much and I will miss her earthly presence, but I know she will always be with me.


Suzette Inell Williams
May 23, 1971 - July 15, 2008

I love you Suzy!
  • Current Mood
    depressed depressed

what now

Remember back in the day when I used to make up to 5 posts a day here on my LJ? Well those days are long gone as it seems these days I live a totally different life. I'm pulling in 60 hour work weeks and although it's tiring, I'm pacing myself and the money is going to good use, like BILLS. But I'm not out of the woods yet, not by a long shot, but, I'm hanging in there.

The past five days have been emotionally draining as my sister Suzy is in the hospital again, since Wednesday - because of her cancer. I can't go into details right now, but I'm not weeping as much. I went to see her in the hospital yesterday before her surgery (today) and she's trying to be strong and positive, but the pain she's been in hurts and I just want to scream and suck the cancer out of her and let her be happy and healthy. The surgery she had today alleviated the pain and a new round of chemo and radiation will start on Tuesday, then she'll be released to go home. Doctor's orders are for her to not work for the next 6 months as this stage of cancer fighting needs to be more aggressive. We're optimistic, but there are times when I just cry. I truly do wish I could trade places with her. when you're constantly thinking about the health and welfare of a loved one, everything else just doesn't matter.

The family has redone her bedroom for her, went to Art Van and plopped down $1400 in new bedroom furniture, painted her room, and got her a new 37" LCD tv screen - her bedroom got pimped out big time and when she comes home, she'll be shocked! My mother totally needs to call MTV with a show idea called 'Pimp my Bedroom'!

Not working, totally focused on chemo/radiation treatment, watching her bootleg DVDs, and laughing a lot, is what she needs to do to get better. Please send your prayers or positive thoughts to my sister Suzette's way? Thanks. xoxo
stewie drink

relaxing day

Today is Hash Bash day in Ann Arbor, and for the first time in a very long time, the weather cooperated with us and it's nearly 60 degrees and absolutely sunny! And because of the pleasant weather, the crowds were 10x larger. Also, I had Laurie and her son Kyle tag along and they really enjoyed it.

Lot's a people smoking weed, discreetly, in public and I saw no one getting arrested. Smelled a lot of weed and passed through many smoky clouds, but no contact buzz.

I need to make sure I specifically request select Saturday's off just so that I can enjoy a free day to do whatever the hell I need to do.

I'll watch the 'No Country for Old Men' and 'Walmart: The High Cost of Low Price' DVDs for the rest of the day.
dough boy

Concert news!!!!

This past week saw me in the blues because I couldn't think about attending any East coast Pearl Jam shows, and the weeks before that, I couldn't think about attending any West coast Eddie Vedder shows. But now, NIN has announced a 2008 summer too and they are coming to Detroit Rock City on Saturday, August 23rd! I'm so going to go for mosh pit tickets and get my ass kicked again!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Current Mood
    excited Fucking NIN happy!
blue buddha

Easter Weekend

Now more than ever, I'm glad that I trusted my gut instinct and purchased my single ticket to the Dalai Lama's visit to Ann Arbor during the weekend of April 19-20th. He will be having in 3 separate presentations, dialouges about Buddhist principles, politics, compassion, etc. And in light of the uprisings in Tibet in the past week with approx over a 100 people dead, and with the Dalai Lama threatening to quit being the leader of the Tibetan government if the violence doesn't end, he's appearance next month is really anticipated.

I was trying to hold out and wait and see if Laurie's husband would be able to get tickets to see the DL as he works at an Asian Studies advocacy U of M group. Also, I tried in vain to see if people at the ZBT, of all places, would have their act together and be able to get tickets. So when I heard nothing back from those fronts, I decided to F it and get my own nosebleed $20 ticket at the end of January. Now, all tickets are sold out, even the front row $1,000 tickets (but mind, 8,000 tickets were given FREE to current U of M students and faculty and those tickets were all taken up on the day those were released). So now Laurie and Jon can't go, and not many people at the ZBT are going either due to poor group planning. But I'm going... I just need to get a hold of some binoculars.

Here is an interesting Op-Ed from the NY Times about the Dalai Lama He May be a God, but he's no Politician. It's interesting and gives a historical perspective of the Dalai Lama's exile to India in 1959.

Also, I found out today that Pearl Jam will be having a 10-day mini East Coast tour in June. I would love to go, but the fan club tickets go on sale on Monday, AND, I really just can't afford not only the tickets, but the expense of flying to the EC would be cost prohibitive during this sticky employment situation I'm currently still in, which will hopefully have changed by then, but still, I can't afford such luxuries right now. If they decide on a mid-west tour, I'll find out a way to go.

Well, I gotta work at Macy's today, but I have tomorrow off which is one of only two days the store is closed during the year. I will go to the ZBT for a special Buddhist memorial ceremony, and then drive to Detroit for Easter dinner with the family.
stewie drink

Spring in nigh!

I think the coast is almost clear in regards to winter. I swear to God I have had enough snow for 3 winters, and it was bitterly cold too. I'm thankful that my car did not konk out like so many cars did on my drive into work the past couple of months. I always smirked when I saw SUVs and newer model cars on the side of the road, or in a ditch due to mechanical problems or poor driving. Yes, I made it through another winter.

And a strong sign that spring is near is my sinus and allergies have been just completely jacked up. I look like I have been smoking a doobie with my eyes so red and often swollen. But I have my eye drops and OTC allergy medicine with me. Guess I just have to take it more often than I thought.

Still getting positive feedback from my temp job; they do want to hire me, it's just a matter of when they will do it. It's not my dream job, but it's a great company and the people are good and SANE, that's key.

I am coming along fine at Macy's, I just leave exhausted sometimes because of all the running around I do. I found $5 in the aisle near the hoisery department. Brought a smile to my face - I don't know if that's sad or cute. LOL! The thought that a $5 bill brought such joy. *sigh*

I work all this weekend, but it's cool, it's afternoon shifts, so that allows me to sleep in a bit. I'll be able to go the ZBT on Sunday, for the second week in a row. I have been scheduled to work at Macy's to open the store on Sunday, preventing me from attending. And low and behold, *gasp* the store WILL be closed on Easter Sunday, so I will drive to see my family that day and have a nice Easter meal (after they return from the fashion show at church that morning).

Hope ya'll are well!



There was a window of opportunity today where I had the day off from both my jobs, AND the latest snow storm isn't expected until after 6pm this evening. So I was finally able to drive all the hell the way over to the East side to BFF Donna's house to use her tax software program to file my 2007 taxes. Thankfully, I get some money back. It ain't a lot, but it's something.

It was also very good to see Donna and her family again as I haven't seen her ass since last July or August, and that's too damn long to go without seeing your bestest friend. They're going through some difficult times, as Roland got laid-off a month ago. But he'll find something soon enough; it's just a blow to them and they're getting freaked out if he doesn't find a new job in a few weeks.

I really need to clean up my apartment but I'm so not motivated. Just exhausted from the drive to Donna's and a pit stop at my sister's to see everyone else. Other than that, I'm ok, just hanging in there.

Off to take a hot shower, fix dinner and watch Ocean's 13.

Dear God, please let Hillary Rodham Clinton win Texas and Ohio tonight.

thanks Netflix

I returned the previously rented movie, the unfunny Shrek The Third on Saturday so that the next movie I get would be '30 Days of Night' which came out on DVD on Tuesday. So it was perfect timing that I returned the movie and they sent me an email on Monday saying they got the Shrek movie and that they will mail to me, to RECEIVE on the 26th, '30 days'.

It came and I watched that movie last night and it was brilliantly bloody! I just enjoyed the hell out of it. If you like vampire movies but with an Artic twist to it, then check this movie out. Here's a clip from Youtube: